I got drunk every week for over 10 years straight trying to learn how to keep a girl interested.
And when I mean drunk, I mean almost blackout.
I had an amazing social life.
I had too many friends to maintain, I could pick from several parties to attend each weekend, and I had several dates a week with new girls I met each week.
These girls I met had something in common.
Not many stayed interested in me for long.
It wasn’t until I stopped trying to impress and chase girls and started learning and investing in myself that girls REALLY started becoming and staying interested in me.
I discovered I had a passion for photography.
I became a professional photographer.
I left my home in Washington DC to travel the world.
I lived in a van and drove through New Zealand for 3 months.
I swam with dolphins, chased rainbows, stared at the milky way alone in the wilderness, played with wild baby seals.
I bought a motorcycle and learned to surf in Bali.
This is where I met my current girlfriend, a Russian model / photographer / entrepreneur.
Here are 3 things I learned to keep a girl interested.
FOCUS ON YOUR INTERESTS FIRST
When I had girls on my mind first, I always acted the way I THOUGHT I should act for them to like me.
Girls are smart.
They can smell the B.S. a mile away.
If you don’t know who you are / what you like (like I did), how can you expect a quality girl to be interested in you?
CHASE your interests aggressively until you find a passion.
Speak about that passion with everyone.
Girls. Guys. The mailman.
When girls hear you speak about something you are passionate about, they will feed off that energy and want to be around you.
And stay around you.
2. 5 SECOND RULE
If you are lacking a social life, I’m guessing you may have some hesitation when meeting new people, especially girls.
The reason I told you to find your passion and talk about it to EVERYONE is because it’s really easy to talk about things you’re interested in.
And when you speak with EVERYONE, you get used to speaking with other people.
When I used to be nervous about approaching girls (which is the same fear of rejection as talking to anyone you don’t know), I used to practice talking with everyone I could.
If I was in line at Starbucks, I’d countdown from 5 and start talking to the person in front of me or behind me. ( I got this strategy from Mel Robbins if you want to learn more about it)
“so, what are you getting?”
“Have you had their caramel latte?”
“Hi, I’m Hanson”
I would say whatever was in my mind. Didn’t matter if they were guys or girls.
What normally happened was I’d talk for a bit with someone before ordering my coffee and going about my day.
But this helped me trigger a habit that I could call on whenever I wanted.
Whenever I wanted to talk to someone, I would countdown from 5 and then start a conversation.
This is HUGE when you eventually want to start talking to girls.
Once you start doing it with strangers, start trying it with girls or people you want to be friends with.
I eventually graduated to telling myself I would do my 5,4,3,2,1 countdown to the first attractive girl I saw that day. No matter where I was.
This prepared me so when I eventually met my current girlfriend, I already had done this for YEARS. I didn’t hesitate. I went right up to her and talked to her and got a first date with her. And here we are, traveling the world. We just celebrated our one year together in June 🙂
3. DO INTERESTING THINGS
NOTHING is more attractive to girls than someone who marches to the beat of their own drum.
That’s why finding your passion is SO important.
The next and FINAL step to keeping girls interested (after using the 5 second rule to meet them) is to BE interesting.
How do you do that?
Live an interesting life.
If you play video games 8 hours a day, that isn’t very interesting to a majority of people.
Think about the people you admire.
What do they do?
Do they travel?
Do they have cool stories?
The best way I know of to live an interesting life is to do things that are a bit scary for you.
The first time I traveled alone, I went to Spain for 2.5 weeks. ALONE.
I was petrified.
I was sweating and my heart was racing when I bought my ticket.
When I arrived in Madrid, I was in so much shock that I was alone that my fear was instantly replaced with adrenaline and excitement.
After a few days, I decided to push my comfort zone a bit further by buying a one way ticket to Rome. And then after that, I flew to Berlin.
When I finally made my way back to Spain for my flight back to DC, I felt really comfortable traveling alone anywhere in Europe. And now, anywhere in the world.
You think I have any interesting stories to tell?
I’ll NEVER ever run out of cool stories. I probably have more that I’ve forgotten about at this point than I remember.
And it’s only been 2 years.
My point is:
KEEP PUSHING PAST your comfort zone. The most interesting life you can live is right past where you are scared and excited at the same time.
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